I fell in love with someone that would change me forever, and to this day I will never forget. She was not only my first true love, but she was someone that would shape me to be the person that I am today.
Her name is Cindy Visin. She lived in Benton Harbor, and worked with me at Meijer. I was introduced to her by a friend, and I asked her out. She smiled at me and said yes.I picked her up the next night, and spent most of it driving around talking. She was wonderful. We clicked right away, and had a great time together. The date ended with me bringing her home, and a wonderful kiss.
It was incredible. I was completely smitten with her. We started going out, and every date just made me fall for her even more. The always smiled. It was the cutest smile. Everyime she laughed, it melted my heart. We worked so well together, and no matter where we were, or what we did, it was perfect.
We would drive to the beach and lay in the sand. We would would go to the park at night, and listen to music in the car. We would go down to the marina where my parents had a sailboat, and make out under the stars. We would get passionate, but we never slept together. We were both still virgins.
Now, not to say we didn't TRY. It was comical at times, but we never had sex. We would have romantic times together. We would be completely undressed, and just lay next to each other. There was a warmth in her that could fuel a thousand suns. And she made sure that I felt like special. I had fallen in love with her, and I told her.
She told me she loved me too.
That was it. I was in love. And she loved me back. It was such a feeling. I loved her, and she loved me. Nothing could change that. I had never felt like this before. It was new, and exciting. She would look at me, and I would look at her, and it was perfect. I wanted it to stay this way forever.
But love has a sick and twisted way of making you stupid. It tends to make you forget that there is two people in the relationship, and what you want, isn't always what is best for the both of you. We spent so much time together, and I loved every moment of it. But too much of a good thing can backfire. I was at my friends house one night, and I suddenly missed her. I wanted her to come over and hang out with me. I called her, and even though I could tell she wasn't really up to it, she agreed to have me come pick her up. I drove to her house and we motored back to my friends.
That's when it happened. At least I'm pretty sure that's when it did.
When we got back, she just sat there while I hung out with my friends. She was obviously bored, and never really wanted to be there, but she did it because I wanted her to be there. And I neglected to think about her feelings. She sat there.
After about an hour, we got in the car and I drove her home. Yeah, just drove her right home. She really didn't say much when she got out of the car. I had no clue what an ass I had been. It never even crossed my mind.
2 days later, i called her and I was upset about how she acted when I dropped her off. We started to argue, and we had never even fought to this point. This lasted about 15 minutes. Then I said the words I never thought I would say.
"We need to break up."
I could tell that she was a little stunned, but I think she knew it was coming. I blamed her, and I let her know I that I did. I ended up hanging up the phone on her, and walking away.
That was it. I had a stupid sense of pride that I was right, and she was wrong. For 2 days, I was right and she was wrong.
Then it hit me. I was a complete ass. It wasn't ever supposed to be about what I wanted, it was supposed to be about what WE wanted. It was light a cinder block being slammed into my skull. I understood how love was supposed to work. I was ashamed of myself, and I slipped into a funk that would nearly destroy me. I could not believe what i had done. I had the perfect love, and I crushed it like a ant.
A couple of months later, I was able to bring myself to call her. She answered the phone, and I apologized right away. She accepted, and we talked for quite a while. I told her that I still loved her, and I understood what love meant, and i wanted to be with her again. She told me she still loved me, but she couldn't be with me anymore. She had moved on. But she shared something with me that I will never forget. She told me why she loved me.
She loved me for being myself. It was important to her that I didn't act like I was someone I wasn't. She also told me how much she respected me for the way I treated her while we were going out. That I never once pressure her for sex, and never made her feel unwanted. The way I held her hand no matter where we were, and always had a smile and a kiss for her at the end of the day. If she was down, I always had kind words for her, and she loved me for the love I gave her.
We talked a little while longer, and we said our goodbyes. I never spoke or saw her ever again.
She got away. And I let it happen. I swore that I would NEVER act like that again. I would never take an emotion like love, and make it all about me. I took the lessons I learned from Cindy, and became a better man. She made me what I am today, and I will never forget her.
Wherever you are, Cindy Visin, I will always remember you. You were my first real love, and you not only made me a better man, and but an even better human being.
Whenever I hear this song, I think about her. It seems like it was always on the radio when we were together. I hope you enjoy it.
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