A little boy and his fears.

There was once a little boy of about 8 years old. He loved to play baseball, spend time with his friends and play with little army men. At 8 years old, he never really had any worries, and always found a way to have fun. But like any typical little boy, there were things things that scared him. Monsters......strangers.......not having a GOOD snack after school. Just the normal things. But there was one thing that scared him more than anything. Something that terrified him more than a million bogeymen.

Thunderstorms.

The thought of a thunderstorm with the lightning, thunder wind and rain would cause him to hide, and never want to come out. He would cry just knowing that a storm was coming. he was never able to tell anyone because he thought he would be ridiculed for his fear. Most of the time, he would just deal with it, hoping that the terror he felt would pass. You see, he saw a tornado when he was a kid, and saw what it did to his neighbors garage. The sheer power of what a storm could do horrified him, and he never forgot that.

One spring night, he was watching TV with his family. Storms were forcasted, but he felt safe because he was with his Mother and Father, as well as his brother and sister. They were also in the basement living room, so he figured the storm could not get to him. Then the storms came. He could hear the thunder, and he started to get nervous.

Then it happened. Lightning struck the house. The TV attena was hit, and it caused the power to go off in the home. That little boy was suddenly remembering the garage that was destroyed years before. His father called the fire department, and they came out. By then the storm had passed. They checked the garage, and found that the lightning had blew a very large hole in the roof, but there was no fire. The power was restored, and the lights came back on. The little boy was so scared, but felt better knowing that the thunderstorm didn't get him, and that he could now go to bed feeling safer than he had an hour earlier.

The next day some plastic was put over the hole to cover it from the elements. The little boy went to school never telling anyone how he was so scared about what happened.

That night, there was more storms coming, but the little boy didn't know it. he went to bed, and fell asleep. he awoke at midnight to the sound of thunder. He sat up in a flash, and instantly he was nervous. he could feel that terrible feeling in his stomach. The storm was coming to get him. He sat there waiting to see how bad it was going to be. It kept getting louder and louder. Closer and closer. he had never felt so alone and scared, even though he was in a house with his family. Then it started to rain.....and lightning. Panic set in. What am I going to do, he thought. He tried to hide under his bed, but he could still see the lightning flash from his bedroom window. He covered his head with his pillow, but he still heard the thunder. He started to cry. There was only one thing he could do.

he snuck into his parents room and climbed under THEIR bed. At least that way, he though, he would be safe and they could protect him. He walked in, and lay on the floor next to his fathers side of the bed. He could only get so far under the bed, but it was better than being alone in his room.

10 minutes. He was there for 10 minutes listening to the storm rage outside. Then he felt something on his arm. He looked out to see his Father grabbing his arm. "Why aren't you in bed?" he yelled. The little boy told him he was scared, and he wanted to stay there with them. He told the little boy to get back to bed. He refused. he told him how scared he was, but that didn't matter. The Father once again told him to get back to his room, nearly yelling this time about how he had to be up for work in the morning, and he didn't need this.

The little boy refused.

The father then got furious. He dragged the little boy out from under his bed and proceeded to give him one last warning. "GET TO BED NOW OR YOU WILL REGRET IT!" he yelled.

The little boy, now crying his eyes out refused. He was scared of his father, but even more terrified of the thunderstorm.

The feeding the little boys horrifying fear of the storm, the Father did something unspeakable. He dragged the little boy to the garage. The garage that had been struck by lightning the night before. He pushed the little boy in to the dark garage, and told him that he could stay out there until he learned to listen. The little boy was hysterically screaming. The door shut. It was pitch black, that was until lightning filled the garage with brilliant light. The little boy, now screaming for his life looked up, and saw that hole in the roof. He was frozen with fear. the storm was going to kill him.

You can't imagine what this little boy was feeling. The innocence of what he though would be a father that would able to protect him from his fears was gone in an instant. In the little boys mind, his father was no better than the storm, and he was going to let him die in that garage. There was no escape, he thought. he curled up in to a ball, screaming and crying waiting for the inevitable death that the lightning was going to bring.

7 hours. The little boy sat in a ball on the garage floor for 7 hours. His father finally opened the door, and told him to get ready for school. he looked at his father, and this time in a way that was not admiration, but fear. He never looked at his father again without thinking about that night and how he was going to let him die in that dark garage.

Fathers are supposed to be there for you no matter what. they are supposed to hold you, protect you and keep your fears at bay. That little boy never saw his father in that light again. Never. For the rest of his life, he knew he could never fully depend on his Father for anything. he never shared his secrets with him, or his fears. he was the little boys father, but for years afterwards, he didn't feel like he had a Dad.

I cry as I write this because of how that little boy felt. The terror he had to endure, and the disappointment of someone that was supposed to keep the scary things away, allowed them to scar that little boy for his entire lifetime.

I am crying right now.

That little boy was me.