They pooped on my parade.

I'm at the grocery store getting some chips for our dinner. After wasting what seemed like 3 days deciding between the nearly 100 flavors of BBQ chips alone, I decided what I wanted, and proceeded to the front of the store. Now, there is ALWAYS something near the checkouts that are geared to the impulse purchase, and usually I am able to ignore these attention grabbing items. Deck of cards? No thanks. Hannah Montana childproof lighters? Um, no. A 12-pack of Sterno? I don't think so.

But then it happened. I saw the Sky Bar. What is a Sky Bar? Just a touch of heaven, and a flashback to my childhood. It ranks up there with Necco Wafers, and candy cigarettes.

You want a chocolate bar with peanut butter? You got it. Fudge? All yours. Caramel? Vanilla? Done and done. I had JUST gone to Hometown Favorites, and online grocery store, and saw that they had them in stock. I told my wife that I HAD to order these blasts from the past. But behold, there they were, calling my name. I promptly grabbed 2 of them and rushed to the cashier. I could NOT get out of that store fast enough so I could get home and mainline these deliciously addicting treats.

Breaking speed laws, and running cars off the road, I arrived home. I rushed inside, kicked off the shoes, and turned the lights down. I lit some candles and drew a bubble bath. I brought the Sky Bar, and stared deeply at the wrapper.

Somewhere in heaven, Barry White smiled down at this encounter of lust. Just me and this incredible Sky Bar. I unwrapped it's cover and smiled when I pulled the aroma into my nostrils. Oh, my....it was like 35 years of memories came rushing back to me in an explosive rush that nearly made me faint. I broke a small chunk of the bar off, and raised it up to my mouth. I popped it in, and bit down slowly, waiting for that first blast of deliciousness.

It sucked.

I nearly cried. What was this monstrosity that I just gave my everything? What did they do to my childhood memory? Whoever did this needs to pay for their crime against humanity. With tears in my eyes, I reluctantly chowed down the rest. At least  the vanilla part was ok. I was heart broken. I was confused, and had no idea if I could ever trust a company to revive a trusted favorite ever again.

Then I remembered they had Mallo Cups too! I'll have to get them tomorrow. For now, I mourn.