Hey, That's A Pot Roast! aka Roll Me Away!

Well, that was me. 2 months before I got sick. I'm doing my best Elvis impression. Or I was threatening someone. Not really sure. I had the rest of my life ahead of me. No worries, and great friends and family. Little did I know that life was going to kick my ass and pour sugar in my gas tank.

Spring of 1999. I look like a disabled fly with my sunglasses on. Light was still effecting my eyes, so I word my Gargoyles everywhere I went. I didn't have much strength at all, but I could move and wheel myself around pretty good. Outpatient therapy was HARD! But the fine folks at Charlevoix Area Hospital took great care of me. Robert Gorkiewicz made me believe that I could walk, and on my first day I did it. With support from the walk assist, and Robert. But I did it, very slowly. Energy was gone JUST like that though. It was important that I never over fatigued. If I did, there was a chance my illness would come back,

These were 2lb weights. You can tell by the look on my face, I was straining. I kind of have a Billy Idol lip curl going on. I still had weak facial muscles, but I could ALMOST smile. It would take months to be able to lift any normal weight. I spent most of my days in a wheelchair or relaxing on the couch. Hagen Manker had built a ramp at my parents house so I could get in and out easily. He also set up their bathroom so I could easily access it. He did this all for free, and I can never thank him or Sulane Hamilton enough for how they helped me. I watched ALOT of TV. During this time the Columbine Shootings occurred. I watched it all unfold live on television. I started thinking how lucky I was to be able to survive what happened to me. I never have shaken the image of what I saw from my head. Those poor people, and the assholes that decided to take them from their families. I was lucky, but I couldn't accept that.

The very first REAL meal my mom made for me was Pot Roast. Never have I tasted such an incredible meal. It was like God cooked it himself. Staying at my parents while recovering was good, but I was alone pretty much all day. My ex-wife would work, and stop by occasionally to see me. The nights were another thing. I was all by myself after 10pm. My parents would go to bed, and I would be alone in my room. Nothing but a radio. I would always ask my ex to come and stay with me, but she never did. I don't know if she was just uncomfortable or what, but it never happened. And nights were empty and depressing.

3 weeks after coming home, I started using a walker. Little bits at a time, but I was getting there. a week later I was pretty damn sick of that walker, so I just told my Mom I was sick of it, pushed it aside and walked. I WALKED! Totally slow and clumsy....and only 4 steps but I did it! A week later, I was walking with crutches. I was progressing so much faster than I could ever imagine.

Then I decided I wanted my life back. Dr. Mackenzie allowed me to get my drivers license back. It had been temporarily revoked because of the seizures I had, but now they were gone. I remember the day I threw my crutches in the back of my Pathfinder, and started it up. I was getting back to normal.

By June of 1999 I was walking with little or no assistance from my crutches. I was feeling real good...I had come so far.

Then the nightmares. They were horrifying.

I still have them to this day. Dreams of being helpless. Being in a situation where someone is going to die, and I have no control to stop it. Sometimes, it was me. Mostly it was loved ones. But it was terrible all the same. 3 nights a week, I have these dreams. I have just learned to live with them.

October of 1999 I went back to work at Village Inn Pizza delivering pizzas. that's right  I had recovered enough to be able to work. My first delivery I was pulled over for speeding because I was so happy. the officer knew me and was shocked that I was doing so well. He shook my hand and and said to slow it down.

Lol....I didn't slow down. I kept going. Getting stronger everyday. I wasn't going to let anything stop me ever again.

Or did I?

Check back tomorrow for the conclusion to my story. I fall in a hole! Tons of laughs coming up Saturday. Stick around!