Damn holes and a rum cake surprise!

So I'm doing good. Back to work part time. Feeling like I could do anything with my renewed energy. But with that confidence, I forgot that the chances of my illness coming back was a real possibility. I never wanted to think about it, so I didn't. I would get tired, but I would keep going. Pushing myself, not wanting to slow down.

I had forgot how weak my muscles still were. I went to Traverse City one day and parked at Borders in a handicapped spot. I got out of my Pathfinder, and stepped up the on to the grass and caught the side of a hole that was hidden within the fresh cut lawn. I went down like a bag of rocks. It was the first time I had fallen since rehab. and it scared the crap out of me.

My ankle made a very distinct POP sound. I had to have help getting up. When I did my foot was already swelling up. By the end of the day I could hardly walk on it.

I worked through it, but over the next few months it was getting weaker and weaker. I would constantly roll my ankle, Finally I got it checked out, and found that I had ripped to tendons in said ankle. I ended up suing the development company for the hole that they had left due to some underground sprinkler install. I sued for the principle. It was RIGHT NEXT TO A HANDICAPPED SPOT! I ended up settling with the company, but part of the deal was that they would fix the death hole that swallowed my ankle.

All of these years later, the hole is still there. Bastards.

August of 2001 I separated from my wife. It had been a looooong time coming. I had surgery that month to repair my devastated ankle. I had an apartment with my friend Dan Russell. He and our friends made sure that I was very well taken care of when I had that cast on my leg. 6 weeks of crutches all over again,

I was feeling real crappy about myself once again. I was getting bitter about having to have others help me to even make a sandwich and carry it into the other room to eat it.

September 11, 2001.

I was sleeping off some beer and pain meds when the phone rang. My Mom had said a plane crashed into the WTC. I crawled out of bed and across the floor to the living room, dragging my leg as I went. I turned the TV on 5 minutes before the next plane plowed into the second tower,

Suddenly NOTHING was about me anymore. My ankle issues were washed away in a wave of anger and sympathy for those poor souls. At that point, nothing was about me. It was about others.

That was the second time where a tragedy that unfolded on TV made me rethink what I was put on this planet for. I never wanted anyone to have to suffer needlessly. I wanted to be able to help them.

I worked hard to get my ankle back in shape, and after the 6 weeks were up, the cast came off. I started dating my future wife, and I started helping people with computer repairs for free. I wanted to make sure that those who didn't have the means or the chance to have their computers fixed by a normal repair shop, get the repairs they deserved. Money or no money, I fixed them.

Over the years I have have lost ALOT of money fixing computers for free. But that never mattered. I wanted to give back. For the guy that helped me with the $100, and all of those who helped me rise up and get over my illness. For those who supported me. For all of my friends that came to see me. I wanted to give back.

I will never forget how loved I felt by those who watched over me.

My dear friend Shannon Lavoie came to see me when I was in the ICU in Petoskey. She was SO trying to smile when they were there, but I remember she had to leave because she was crying so badly.

Shannon, I still love you. Every time I think about you I smile. I'll always remember you driving with me one of the first times I drove anywhere after I was on crutches. You made sure I got to see my friend Tim before he went away. The look on peoples faces when I got out of that truck. You gave me the confidence I needed to get there. Even though I couldn't stay long, you helped me get there.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. :)

Over the years since my illness, I still have some residual effects. I still have numbness in my toes, and in my hands. I still get numbness in my legs when I stand for more than an hour. And I still have a heart issue from the strain the GBS Eventually I had to have a pacemaker installed to help keep the beat. I ended up with congestive Heart Failure from the scar tissue on my heart. But I have recovered almost 80% from where I was 4 years ago. and 90% from where I was when that damn sauce packet smacked knocked my ass to the curb. I still get some nerves that come back to life. It's like a sharp quick pain, and then it's gone. I will never get the damaged ones back, but they let me know that they are still there, and they let me know that by communicating with that sharp pain, then they go back dormant.

I think back to when I tried to off myself in the ICU. I'm glad I never succeeded. I love my life, and all that are in it.

Now.....there were some things that I skipped over that happened to me in that period where I was wrecked. I remember a few things everyday, so I will include them as I think about it.

I used to feign weakness to lean into my favorite nurses chest when I was in Munson. Oh MY was she hot, and, well....was built VERY well. After about 6 days of this happening, I think she knew what was going on. Day 7 she smiled at me when she was helping me up, and leaned to my right and supported my front from falling forward. I had to laugh. She was such an awesome nurse.

There was a girl that came in from Conway Michigan who had broke her back. I can't remember her name, but she was wearing this plastic body brace that made her look like Wonder Woman. We became friends and she was really one cool chick.

April 7, 1999. My FAVORITE nurse at Munson was so good to me. She was a scuba diver when she wasn't working, and we always sat and talked when she was on shift, and even when her shift ended. She used to actually come back and watch South Park with me when it was on. On this night she came in and brought popcorn. We watched the "Rainforest Shmainforest" episode. We laughed our asses off. I was to be discharged in the next week, so the day before I was to leave, she brought me in a six-pack of Tsing Tao Beer and a REAL rum cake from the Caymans. That was her "Congrats, you made it!" gift to me. She was awesome. I lost track of her over the years, but I'll always remember her.

Well......that's it for today. I'll be back tomorrow with more stupid acts on my part. Grab some nachos and watch the sunset. I'll never take them for granted anymore.